Food only for the Worthy?

I thought Francis said
All we needed
was our Conscience?

Lost Message

OK, Your Emminences,
Francis has come and GONE,
Back to Business as usual.


is better than no sex at all.

Need some kinda victory

The People don't buy our teaching on Birth Control
or any of our teachings on sexuality;
Should we try pornography?

All a matter of Interpretation

The Bishop quoted Francis,
saying we must be open to Change.

A Response to the Call to Change

Your eminences,
We are happy to announce
 a Pharaoh Protection Program,
providing the public illusion of humble living,
while protecting the lifestyle
to which we've become accustomed.
Francis says the Church must be prepared to change;
Any idea where we might start?

The Call

Francis says we must be prepared to change;
Does he mean the way we dress?


the Spotlight feels sooo good;
Papacy, here I come.

On Track

Thank God,
the Synod has the Church
back on track.

News, but not for all.

Internal Forum?
News to me.

A Sharply focused Synod

Women's Issues
were not part of the agenda
for the Synod on the FAMILY.


The Surveys on Family
completed by the Laity
have been sent
to the Vatican;
Trans-oceanic mail
takes awhile.


A Great Synod;
Everyone can claim Victory
Nothing has been changed!

Eucharist only for the few

They don't qualify
to eat at our table

A Human Pope

Any one
have any ideas
how to retard
this Pope's popularity?

He's just too in sync
with people,
their dreams, their needs.

It's not OUR way.

Not barefoot and pregnant, but close.

Hang in there;
We're working on 
a Theology for you.

In the meantime . . .

A few strings attached . . .

We are a Welcoming
Inclusive Church
. . . 
to any and all
. . . 
who Obey
without Questioning.

Relevancy, Be Damned

Even if ALL the laity
died and/or Moved On,
the Church would stand
on its Dogma and Doctrine.

Reform or Rebirth

Trying to reform the Roman Church
in the light of 
the growth in human knowledge
since the Middle Ages
is tantamount to
working to
offer free WiFi
on Pan Am DC6 flights.

On a Pedestal

As Francis said,
We value and respect you;
A Just Wage 
and/or Ordination
is not part of the package.

The Pope and Women

As Francis said,
Just because we don't ordain them
doesn't mean we don't appreciate them.

Do as we SAY, not . . .

Francis' Messages
of Inclusiveness, Love, Compassion, Dialogue,etc.
were directed at the Laity,
not God's representatives on earth.


Without the immigrants,
we'd close up shop.

Giving Women a Voice in the Church

Francis has encouraged us
to give Women a Voice in the Church,

Stamp of Approval

Well, Fellow Bishops,
Francis has said to us,
"Well Done!"
If only the rest of the world
would get with it.

American Heroes

There must be some mistake;
Dorothy Day? (Maybe Doris Day)
Thomas Merton?

Taking Francis to Heart

Francis told the Bishops
that Church
is not about buildings.


Francis said 
Love is as important as doctrine?
Anyone know what he meant?

Sinners Still

Women who abort
have been demoted
to our forgiveness level
for a year,
ordinary sinners.

Holy Revenue Stream

Now that Francis
has made annulments Free,
We'll just charge more
for Marriages.

. . . maybe we can start
charging for Confessions.

Good Thinking

That'll show them!
Now they'll have to mail in their contributions.

Blessing in Disguise

I guess we'll just have to do Liturgy
in our Homes.
Hey, isn't that the way
it all started?

Instituted by man to serve man

Fewer and fewer
are coming to make weekly donations already;
What happens when they finally discover
Jesus never instituted the Eucharist?

Compassion . . . to a point.

Yes, Francis wants us
to act with Love and Compassion
as long as we comply with
Doctrine, Dogma, Rules, Regulations.

All Aboard to ?

The Catholic Express;
Driven by
Francis and/or the Bishops

Fair is Fair

You are not being treated unfairly!

We don't pay unordained males
a living wage either.

Teaching Requirements

Although you have a Master's degree,
all of the teachers in our school
must take Obedience Training.

Reason to Close

The Diocese could not find any
straight celibate obedient males
to be Pastor;
Only Women and Married Men

Equal but Separate?


OK, Fellow bishops, who was assigned
to pack the Supreme Court?

God's Reps

People of the same gender
may be legally married,
but not in the eyes of God;
just ask us.


The Court is only Supreme in the USA,
We are representatives
of God's Laws,
Supreme in the Universe.


All Bishops have a D.D. (Doctor of Divinity) Degree;
I think it's from the U of H,
University of Heaven.

No Mere Employee, Indeed

Salary Increase? No.
Health Insurance? No.
Contract? No.
Unionize? No Way;
You're not a mere Employee,
You're a Minister!

Role Model

The Irish have become Pagan;
They need to be more Christlike,
like me.

Hurrah High Birth Rates

Your Emminences,
I am pleased to report that
Our anti-birth control strategy
is a success;
The number of Catholics
in Third World Countries
is soaring!

We need to approve
the cloning of priests,

A Hierarchical Response

The Irish
don't really support Gay Marriage;
They're just voicing their resentment
to Clergy abuse of their kids
and hierarchical protection
of the abusers.

They'll get over it 
. . . in a generation or two.


Just table the issue
of Catholics leaving the Church in droves
for some other future meeting . . . 
What do wear for Francis' visit?

Equal but Separate

The bishop has said
We should not discriminate against Gays and Lesbians
as long as they don't ask to have meetings
in our Church.