A Choice

The real world with Francis
is far too depressing and challenging for me,
I'm staying with the likes of Burke, Chaput, Dolan, etc.,
far easier and more secure
to Pay, Pray, Obey.

RC Evangelization Strategy

If you all now join the Catholic Church,
We guarantee safe entry to Heaven.

Evil is as evil does

Vatican says,
"Halloween is Evil."

Perception

Our new PR firm
has developed our new Marketing Program
Perception is Reality
How to Convince people
the Church has Changed
even though it hasn't.

The Press is already hooked. 

Forked Tongue

Our new Church policy:
Even though you are living in Sin
(Per Church Doctrine)
We will welcome you to come
PAY, Pray, Obey
with us. 

The NEW? Approach

The Bishops at the Synod
changed Nothing;
They just want us to 
Enforce it
in a friendlier way.

Synod on the Family

Who knows more about family,
than we do?!

We are Fa Mi Ly

High Tech

We're finally getting Up-To-Date.
As rank and file priests disappear
and we close churches,
the laity will be able to meet 
their Sunday Obligation
by logging onto our Virtual Liturgy Website
(www.pay_pray_obey.org)
with Church-Pay-Pal,
thus avoiding Sin
guaranteeing their Heavenly Reward.

Now What?

The Third world countries
have discovered they need obedient ordained celibate males
more than we
and have stopped exporting them.
 

Ever Shrinking Circle

He's saying
We need to circle the wagons
to protect us 
from the invading forces
of Reality.
 

So There!

Though Jesus only asked
that we Emulate Him
and never suggested 
that we gather to worship Him,
We have the ONLY approved way
of doing so.
 

Huh

Of course we know what's best
for Women;
We learned from our Mothers.

Aquinas would be proud

Misogynists?
No Way.
Even God used a female
. . . to birth Jesus.

Misogynists? Us?


Nuns' Reaction

Did he actually say
he's not a misogynist?!

The Hierarchy's end to Misogyny


Check History

How dare anyone
call me a Misogynist!

as long as . . .

I'm not a Misogynist . . .

. . . as long as you know your place.

A Thinking Hierarchy in Touch with the needs of the People

Francis is waiting for us
to make recommendations
for Church Reform,
but if a Pope does not tell us what to recommend,
how will we know
what to ask for?

The Hierarchy's Liturgy

The sign of Peace during Liturgy
is not to be some warm friendly exchange
among Friends;
You can do that outside of Church.

The Pinnacle of Existence

Evolution is Complete;
Just ask the Hierarchy.

Garb

He's looking for a place 
to hide all his "stuff"
if Francis comes
to Philadelphia.

Selective Holey Discernment

Yes, We are against Discrimination
except with regard to
Women,
Gays and Lesbians,
People of other Religions,
Those who refuse to 
Pay, Pray, and Obey,
Democrats . . .
 

Hanging On to . . .

Some use the Bible
as a drunk uses a lamp post;
for Support
rather than illumination.

Tough Requirements

No, you may Not rehire
your parish maintenance man;
He once attended
a Protestant service.

Francis Purified

We cannot let people know
what Francis is actually saying.

Family Survey

Well, the laity can't say
We don't listen.
No one said we have to agree.

Good Use

With a few hundred thousand dollars
it will be a marvelous retirement villa.

What a novel idea!

Maybe the Early Christians
had the right idea:
Home Liturgies!

Old Man Defense

OK, fellow Bishops,
We all agree that
When testifying,
We will all say
"I can't remember."
It's full-proof; 
We can't be convicted of memory loss.

The Route to Wholeness

If Jesus, as a Jew,
would have established an Institutional Religion
(which He did not)
it certainly would NOT have been
ROMAN. 
Catholic evermore, Roman never again

So There, U.N.

We have interviewed hundreds
of the priests who have been accused
of sexually abusing children;
None, absolutely None,
have considered it Torture.

New Title

Making you a Teacher/Minister
does not involve Ordination;
It simply means
We do not have to pay you a Living Wage
and We can fire you at will.

The plan is working.

OK, your Emminences,
Once we dis-enfranchise the U.S. Nuns,
We'll take over their assets.
We are assured the support of Opus Dei.

Social Justice spoken but not lived here

The Higher Minimum Wage
we support
will not apply
to employee/ministers 
a title
which we have now given you.
 

Listening to those in Charge


Francis Who?

Francis is speaking
to the Third World,
His World;
The Church in the U.S.
is already as it should be.

Lost Focus

Mary,
They'll go through history
focused on my death;
You and Yours
must remind everyone about
MY LIFE.

New Discoveries

We cannot allow a Woman
to be raised to a position of being
Jesus' Wife;
We will have to resort to Plan B;
He was Gay.
(Too Bad, fundamentalists!)
 

Canon Law Enacted

We clergy
do not wash the feet of  Women
on Holy Thursday;
Women's feet are not dirty
and besides,
as Jesus showed us in Scripture,
Women are to wash OUR feet.

Training for What?

We Baptize 'em,
Get them through Religious Ed,
but then as soon as 
they can think for themselves
and rely on their own consciences,
the Bishops kick 'em out!

Go Figure

We know you are Baptized,
have received the Sacraments,
have degrees from Catholic Institutions,
are doing wonderful work with the Bereaved
and are helping people grow Spiritually,
but the trouble is,
living, speaking, writing
your truth
and your conscience
undermines all our efforts
at Control.
 

Burke

Cardinal Burke
speaking on
Being a Humble Joyful Catholic.

Raising the Role of Women in the Church

We're working on a theology for you,
maybe even a non-sacramental deaconate,
but it will not include priestly ordination
or a pay raise or health benefits.

Who's to Judge?

Francis spoke for himself alone
When he said, 
"Who am I to judge?"
certainly not for the Bishops.